The Cards You Are Dealt

I’m going to let y’all in on a little secret.  One that I haven’t told many people but I’m going to tell you today because it probably is a good thing to share………………..so someone can know something about themselves that they didn’t know or couldn’t see.  They can make it through anything. 

My secret…………..

The Cards You Are Dealt

Realization After The Reset

From scratch? The beginning? A do over? You're serious? Return to Go.......without my two hundred dollars???? I stand in the mirror saying that out loud lately. My only sanity being my faith and the complete and total fact that I KNOW God is moving me. Closing some doors and opening others. So smooth that I know it isn't me. The way things happen sometimes lets us know it isn't of our own volition. We'd never be able to accomplish some of these things on our own and the older I get the more clear that becomes.

Realization After The Reset

Hitting The RESET Button

I made a huge decision for my life in a matter of moments.  As odd as this may sound based on my first statement, I thought about it long and hard……………..I pondered it and fought against it for the longest time.  I continued to convince myself that maybe it wasn’t right, that I could handle it, I didn’t need to do it, and it would work itself out.  All the stuff we tell ourselves when we truly don’t want to move on something we know in our hearts we should move on.  For over two years I did this to myself.  I know I’m capable of a lot and I can handle anything I’m given, but sometimes it’s just not meant for us to do that and we suffer unnecessarily because we do what we want to do and not what we should do.

Hitting The RESET Button

A Writer's Life: Raw Impact

The best blogs are raw. They are dirty. Messy. Emotional. They tell the story of the writer and exposes their souls for the readers to consume. You sometimes look irresponsible or even petty. Self-centered or naive. But the reality is, that's the way it should be no matter what it looks like because it's the truth. It's fact. It's irrefutable because it's a story that can be told over and over again without skipping a beat. You don't have to reach deep to remember what you said because you felt it so much so that you always remember. Even when you reread your work you get chills........each time........without fail.

A Writer's Life: Raw Impact

Lowering The Standard

Life can be hard.  Period Point Blank.  Especially when dealing with things and people you cannot control.  No matter the dealings, they create the same problem…….you don’t get a say in how things will turn out or how things will be. You are pretty much navigating without a compass and praying that the destination yields the results you know you deserve.  You do that because you are silently imparting your expectation knowing full and well that what you would do is not always what someone else would do in your same situation. 

Lowering The Standard

Through Rose Colored Lenses

I want to just ask this question…….Why do we create our own reality to make life fit into the box we design for it?  Why do we decide that what we want is the only thing that matters instead of looking at the entire picture and realizing that it isn’t what we need at all?  Why are we so hell bent on bending and twisting things into our own personal perception of its existence that the truth becomes completely distorted while the lies we tell ourselves are what we begin to stand on?  Why?

Through Rose Colored Lenses

Aging Gracefully

If you never learn a single thing about the life you live, one thing you will always be forced to learn as time passes is that………………..you are getting older!  Even if you attempt to flee from that truth, it will always become evident as you keep living.  You change, your body changes, your mind changes, your interests change, your circle changes, your circumstances change……………CHANGE changes!  It’s inevitable.  Once you realize it though it’s important to embrace it!  Don’t exist in a place where you avoid the reality of life because if you do, you’ll fail to maintain the truth, authenticity and happiness that you are entitled to every day of yours.

Aging Gracefully

The Gift That Keeps You Giving

Raise your hand if you are the ultimate giver?  The one always going out of your way to do whatever other people need you to do (prompted or unprompted).  Not because you want someone to notice, but because giving just comes natural for you.  Because it’s easy!  If you could see me now you’d see me raising both hands.  When I look back over my life and all the things that I have given of myself, I feel blessed to have been able to do it.  I give so willingly and I never have expectation that I will get anything back.  Raise your hand if you are the ultimate giver?  The one always going out of your way to do whatever other people need you to do (prompted or unprompted).  Not because you want someone to notice, but because giving just comes natural for you.  Because it’s easy!  If you could see me now you’d see me raising both hands.  When I look back over my life and all the things that I have given of myself, I feel blessed to have been able to do it.  I give so willingly and I never have expectation that I will get anything back. 

The Gift That Keeps You Giving

Support Along The Way

There are roads that we are destined to travel in life.  In my personal opinion, they are either filled with a thousand twists and turns, detours, hills, mountains, pot holes, red lights, and yield signs or they are smooth.........because we pay attention to the signs that say CAUTION, turn down the alternate route.  But regardless to the path taken and the roads traveled along that path, life is happening, we are living and the growth we experience is unforgettable. It's necessary. And what's also necessary is the support system provided to you along the way.

Support Along The Way

Life Lessons: Seeing The Signs

I’m a firm believer that in all things we encounter we receive signs on how to deal with them.  I also believe that when those signs don’t line up with the path we want to walk down or the way we want to handle the situation, we tend to ignore them and continue to ask for guidance hoping the new sign is somehow different.  The unfortunate part is that in the midst of ignoring the signs, we are dealing with the unnecessary.  The human side of us is always so hopeful that we can fix or remedy a situation based on how we feel and the potential we see in it as opposed to understanding how little potential means if the situation isn’t already living up to it.  That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t cultivate some things………….it only means that we need to take heed to the things that are not meant for us to intervene in.

Life Lessons: Seeing The Signs

Admiration: Redefining Life

I'm always inspired by the girls who are younger. That 20 to 28 year old who is living by her own rules. Grabbing the bull by the horns because she doesn't really understand why any other way makes sense. The girl who lives on her own terms because she doesn't allow anything to taint her perspective on life. The girl who bounces back quickly after the fuck boy breaks her heart because she knows damn well she shouldn't invest another moment in a person who would do so for her. This girl who is uninhibited and free. Not tied down to a standard or bound by rules. Not because she has no morals or standards but because she realized early in life that you only get one and you shouldn't waste it worrying what other people think, feel or say. 

Admiration: Redefining Life

Sitting In The Seat Of Judgment

There is a fine line between being judgmental and having an opinion.  It’s safe to say that we all have one and there is nothing wrong with that.  Of course we all have some insight into situations that we see going on around us and most of that insight comes from the lives we have lived and lessons we have learned.  Even though we’ve learned many of those lessons through some painful trials and errors, some of us still are not careful enough to stop those opinions from sliding into the danger zone of persecution. 

Sitting In The Seat Of Judgment

Fulfillment: Following Your Heart

People may never understand your heart and that's okay. Your heart is yours alone. Its desires are those that only it can understand. Some say not to follow it because it leads you without logic or reason. It leads you strictly based on the concept of emotion. I only partially agree to this sentiment and that’s because the heart isn't connected to the brain that conceives perceptive thought. However, after living the life I have lived and walking this walk, I never hesitate to pick my heart over my head on my occasions.

Fulfillment: Following Your Heart

Getting Back To Whole

Today I had a great conversation with a girlfriend and it brought up something that causes me to be a bit unsettled at times.  At some point in life, as we are growing, we begin to evaluate our choices.  No matter what they were, good or bad, we analyze exactly where those choices have gotten us and dissect the lessons we have had to learn from those decisions.  Regardless to the type of people we are, admitting how we got where we are can be difficult when letting missteps define us.  Often it's because we are only focused on those missteps and how they appear to have us off our game and off track. 

Getting Back To Whole

Self Acceptance: Scars Are Unavoidable

The hardest part of self-acceptance and self-improvement is accepting all your flaws. You will always be your biggest critic so you alone will see every blemish you possess on a level that others may not (and other things that may not be blemishes but you think so and can’t be talked out of it). So many times people have asked, do you know who you are, do you know how beautiful you are, do you know how well accomplished you are, do you even see yourself? How many of us have answered those questions honestly and been disappointed with how much we truly see and value ourselves as individuals?  The answers I came up with personally were quite interesting to me.

Self Acceptance: Scars Are Unavoidable

Life Lessons: What Is True Strength?

Today one of my very best friends and I were talking about different things we have been through, go through and questions that we have asked in those particular situations.  She is so similar to me when it comes to how we think so we often can pull the most philosophical things from one another (which can lead to a blog at the drop of a dime).  Most times we feel like the strongest people on earth as women because we tend to multi task every facet of life with so much passion, love and drive that we can get caught up………..pushing us further and further down an unknown path.  We asked each other a question that I think many people have asked and that is when we should give up on something and when we shouldn’t? 

Life Lessons: What Is True Strength?

The Long Road To Decisions

Sometimes it can take a minute to decide if you are going to share a blog or not just based on the content.  You want to keep some things close but you also want to have a way of sharing the experience and lessons through your version of truth.  I am a firm believer that being a Blogger or Writer of any sort exposes you to some level of vulnerability because your writings become more real when you can speak from a real place.  For the most part I’m cool with that because though I don’t necessarily filter my topics, I do sort of filter the story that comes forth.  The place I have existed in won’t be revealed here, but I’m hoping that you get some insight in to how to deal big decisions when you are feeling tormented by the way I share my process.

The Long Road To Decisions

Life Lessons: The Curve Balls Of Life

Are we really ever ready for the curve balls that life throws at us?  Regardless to how much of a planner we are, how much we write things down, how much we bulletize our list of to-dos………….are we truly ever really ready to deal with the detours that we will surely make as we continue to live life?

Life Lessons: The Curve Balls Of Life

Bag Lady: Lightening The Load

Staring out the floor length window at the airport watching the young men who work there load in the luggage in a hurried manner, I could tell they had no regard to what was in it or what its final destination would be.  I glanced down at the ticket in my hand to refresh my memory on where I’m actually going.  I had rushed to the airport in a hurry because all throughout the morning I was attempting to unpack some of the things I was bringing with me which had almost made me miss my flight.  My bag was just entirely too heavy and I refused to take this trip lugging all this foolishness.  The long list of things I had in there was ridiculous to say the least and I stood there for at least an hour trying to determine what really didn’t need to go.  I’ve grown to be a terrible hoarder in this area and that is no understatement here.

Bag Lady: Lightening The Load

Learning When It's Time To Leave It Behind

We spend a lot of time in the span of life being in love with something.  Whether its shoes, purses, food, other people, working out, work, books or whatever………we tend to lean towards the things in life that we enjoy.  It becomes something we can’t live without and even when we’ve outgrown them, we have a very hard time letting them go.  That even includes the times when we see signs that suggest we move forward.  I’ve been asking myself a lot lately about letting things in my life go and just how to go about doing it with the least amount of pain and anguish as possible!  I think entirely too much, I ponder, I analyze, I reanalyze, I pull it apart, I put it back together, then I start all over again (because I’m built like that!)  During that process, I’m still holding steady to the thing I’m uncertain about (but not really uncertain because I know it is a part of the past……..think about that)  My way of doing things though isn’t the best and I am constantly working on new approaches to lessen the heartache of clinging.  Most of the time we know when we need to drop the baggage we just need to have the confidence to do so.

Learning When It's Time To Leave It Behind

No Judgment Zone: Being Shaped By Our Experiences

With each step we take in life, we are walking into the person that we are destined to be.  Whether we take an easy road because we are following sound direction or the hard road because we aren’t, we ARE going to make it to the finish line.  I speak a lot about personal perception, direction, goals, destiny……… things that are molded, shaped and reveal while we are learning and moving forward in life…..but I recently took a true look into what that meant.  What it means to be shaped by your encounters and experiences……..how they affect you on the deepest of levels.  How they truly change you even when you don’t know that they have done so.

No Judgment Zone: Being Shaped By Our Experiences

Domestic Violence Has Many Victims

Before I even begin I want to preface by saying that I know my story is pretty common.  Many of us have unfortunately experienced domestic violence whether it was our own personal relationships or someone close to us.  As I read up on DV, it was troubling because there are far too many people who fall victim to it.  The worst part……statistics say that more than 10 MILLION children in this country are subjected to it every single year.  The painful reality is that it will leave a mark on most of them that will either have them become a victim later on in life or become a victimizer.  People who suffer at the hands of someone who physically or emotionally abuses them go through many different stages of grief and self loathing.  They may even feel it is deserved or that they did something to warrant it because their abusers shift the tides to take the guilt they feel away.  Some don’t want to leave out of fear or even out of love and that can lead to tragedy far worse than a bruise.

Domestic Violence Has Many Victims

Life Lesson: Never Too Good for A Mix Up

Recently I was asked my perspective on individuals who feel they are too good to work certain jobs to make ends meet.  I get it too because as a college educated woman with degrees and years of experience, there are things I feel I shouldn’t have to do.  Not because I’m too good but because I worked too hard.  But let’s put things in perspective……………life has a way of shaking things up and there are times in your life where those things you think you wouldn’t do……………you don’t have much choice.

 Life Lesson: Never Too Good for A Mix Up

Do We All Really Want To Be Married?

So I’ve only gotten in to a few episodes of It’s Not You It’s Men on OWN (http://www.oprah.com/app/its-not-you-its-men.html).  I pretty much catch it when I do because Tyrese is my one.  He’s my MCE! (I mean look at him) Lol…………..I’m just being honest.  Even with his slips at exposing his feminine tendencies in fighting with Tank and Ginuwine, I’m still good!

 Do We All Really Want To Be Married?