We spend a lot of time in the span of life being in love with something. Whether its shoes, purses, food, other people, working out, work, books or whatever………we tend to lean towards the things in life that we enjoy. It becomes something we can’t live without and even when we’ve outgrown them, we have a very hard time letting them go. That even includes the times when we see signs that suggest we move forward. I’ve been asking myself a lot lately about letting things in my life go and just how to go about doing it with the least amount of pain and anguish as possible! I think entirely too much, I ponder, I analyze, I reanalyze, I pull it apart, I put it back together, then I start all over again (because I’m built like that!) During that process, I’m still holding steady to the thing I’m uncertain about (but not really uncertain because I know it is a part of the past……..think about that) My way of doing things though isn’t the best and I am constantly working on new approaches to lessen the heartache of clinging. Most of the time we know when we need to drop the baggage we just need to have the confidence to do so.
I have a big heart and have suffered a lot because of it. I’m in the group of people who typically are abused and worn out because anything dealing with matters of the heart are elevated for us, connections mean so much more to us and disappointing others means more to us than disappointing ourselves. Another issue that people in my category face is that we give so much of that dreaded “Benefit of the Doubt” to EVERYTHING we encounter and it doesn’t even matter what it is! That monster rears its head every single time it appears that everything is all figured out. But let me tell you a little secret………..Just when you think you have it figured out, just remember that that is a bonafide LIE!
To overthink something is really a tragedy for you because you overlook the key things that are already letting you know the truest of the answers. You already possess it but you are giving yourself many excuses and reasons why you are not right……….because you don’t want to be right. Ultimately through eliminating the things you “hope” for and evaluating the circumstances, you are given the peace and clarity to make wise decisions. The ones that are best for you. It's not always as easy as it sounds but you arrive at a place where the strings must be cut. As I continue to work through some of my own life’s tumultuous choices, which I am certain that I have absolutely no choice in dealing with, my strategy is shaping up to be something similar to this:
- Pray About It! I know for many who have no faith in something bigger than them, they can’t relate to this and that is okay! Simply take time for silence and meditation. It lifts the unseen but felt burden of dealing with the choices you must make. You have to remove the clutter in your mind that makes you sift through useless facts and information which lead to uncertainty and unease of making the choices you already know you need to make.
- Be A Realistic Realist. At times we have clear signs we are given but our optimism and hopefulness in our heart’s desires keep us holding on to the wrong things. As we do that, we block other blessings that are due to us because we have made a choice not to make room for them.
- Know That What You Walk Towards Is Better Than ANYTHING You Leave Behind. The truth is, doors close in life all the time. The only time we are hurt about it is when we don’t understand because we want that particular thing. That job you thought was perfect, that class you thought you needed, that condo you loved, the friend you adored, the person you thought you would marry……..they all seem quite minuscule in the grand scheme of life when what is meant for you makes its appearance. Leave the doors closed because they have closed so that you can access the next level of your life.
- Be Confident In Your Choice To Choose Yourself! You have a certain responsibility to watch out for your well-being. I have always said that you can never pour into something or someone what you do not currently possess. Empty people can’t pour anything so always be mindful of that. It is okay to ensure your own peace and happiness. You will be better for it and others around you will become better through their interactions with you.
I’ve spent a lot of my life pouring in to other things and people only to be left feeling drained, beaten, taken advantage of and empty. I’ve had people judge me because of my heart and assume I have done so much and helped so much because I wanted praise and accolades. Truth is, I just want to make sure I do my part and help others in the ways we all should………..in the way I can and know how. But the key to everything is balance and that is what I have always struggled with.
Every day that I grow, I am learning to semi-relax the high expectations I have set for myself and realizing that I cannot unfairly impose those same standards on others. We get so upset when people fail to jump over the bar that we have set and we also get upset with ourselves when we perceive that we are failing at the same task. It’s paramount to realize that the mark we want hit is not always attainable for every task and there is no need to pass judgment for that. To error is human so we will not be perfect. Life Lesson: We have the right to be flawed and slack off from time to time because we will. We all tend to at some point in life. It’s fine! You can move forward knowing that as long as you are being your truest and most authentic self that is something to be proud of because it is what you can answer for with your head held high. Everything that doesn’t line up with that part of you can be dumped because those are the things that you shouldn’t take with you into your future.
Live. Love. Laugh. Grow. Mature. Learn and Move Forward!
Until Next Time Lovies!