The hardest part of self-acceptance and self-improvement is accepting all your flaws. You will always be your biggest critic so you alone will see every blemish you possess on a level that others may not (and other things that may not be blemishes but you think so and can’t be talked out of it). So many times people have asked, do you know who you are, do you know how beautiful you are, do you know how well accomplished you are, do you even see yourself? How many of us have answered those questions honestly and been disappointed with how much we truly see and value ourselves as individuals? The answers I came up with personally were quite interesting to me.
There have been many situations in life that have made me second guess myself and have stopped me from truly seeing myself for who I am. I have spent time wondering if something was wrong with me, did I do something, was I responsible for it, could I have done something better, could I have been better? When we feel we are operating at our highest levels and we don’t feel that we have been accepted for that or appreciated for it, it is easy for us to forget that regardless to what others think…………….we are enough. We don’t just think that some situations never required our very best and we just didn’t realize it when we were going through it.
Lately I’ve been all about signs. Risking full disclosure and transparency in saying this I just have to be honest…………….I’m a hard headed chick. I know there have been times that God has been explicit with me and I’ve been like, “Yeah Lord okay………….BUT!” So He’s gotten a little more intense on His signs and symbols when I should be listening. It has a lot to do with my obsession with controlling things and my need to understand why things just simply aren’t the way I believe they should be. I like solutions and I dislike unanswered questions. I push very hard against uncertainty and non-uniformity. It has caused me much discomfort in life because I just struggle intensely with letting go of something that doesn’t make sense to me. That struggle continues but I’m gratefully becoming less concerned about the answers being what I feel they should be. I’m more concerned now about how I feel, what’s happening to me, if I’m being considered and if it makes sense for me to continue down the path that I’m on.
Part of the battle when learning to accept yourself with all of the flaws you possess is first understanding who you are. That rolls right in to why you are that way and beginning to work towards changing the things that hinder your growth process. We get so comfortable and complacent in being who we are because it truly takes more work to be better than it does to stay the same. I watch people in and around my life who struggle with things that they hate because they know they are not their best selves, but they fight against themselves because they don’t want to be the more by doing more! To overly ambitious people who truly understand the benefit of growing, that doesn’t make sense but it doesn’t make it less real. The truth is, there is probably one person for every other person who doesn’t have that same Get Up And Go about making positive changes in their lives. Unfortunately for those people, it might takes some truly outrageous signs……………..like the ones I get……………….that make them decide stagnation is no longer logical when trying to live a fulfilling life.
It really doesn’t matter the battle scars you possess when it pertains to life. We all have them and for as long as you live, you’ll keep getting them. What truly matters about all of it is how you deal when situations arise that place another scar that has a painful story. Those blemishes become who you are and the tales they tell are ones that only you can make a triumph. I’m learning to feel no sympathy for myself and appreciate my stories. I’ve become so strong and resilient because life has not been easy for me. I’m able to be more level headed about the things in life that seem to be sent to destroy the peace I work so hard to attain and maintain. I’m in that space because I can look in the mirror and appreciate the person that I see and all that she has endured. Though life is still throwing those crazy curve-balls, each day is a new day to gain the strength needed to keep facing them when they come.