If you can find a woman on this planet that is so confident in herself that she has absolutely no insecurities, I’d love to meet her……………but I don’t think she exists AT ALL! I think we all to a certain degree have some type of feelings about ourselves that others don’t see or understand when they are looking at us. No matter how small the insecurity may be or what area in our lives we feel it, it is there and we work so hard to deal with it so that it doesn’t take control over our lives.
I’ve never been the person to think too much of myself. I’m too busy trying to accomplish my goals. I think that’s why I never truly cultivated the type of self esteem that some women have in my situation. I have to look around and pinch myself sometimes because even I don’t believe where I’ve gotten to in my life (even if it isn’t perfect or what I hoped for in it’s entirety) I wanted to make sure my life was comfortable and that life was comfortable for my son so that was where I focused. If I wasn’t working, I was in school or I was being a parent and that began to more so shape the woman I was growing into and how I viewed myself. It probably wasn’t the best because at some point I forgot about me and the investment I needed to make into myself. That way I would always ensure I appreciated and understood what my COMPLETE worth was and not just what I was accomplishing in the world. Unfortunately my head was down and I was pushing forward like so many of us do.
I used to tell people that I didn’t necessarily value myself because of the types of people I attracted. They were never loyal to me (in romantic relationships I’m speaking) There was always someone else they wanted to talk to or date or text or email or whatever else they were doing with her. Looking at her pictures on social media or talking to her at work…………..on and on and on. I don’t think I have ever had one man in my life that didn’t do that. Some would argue that monogamy is not natural! Lol……….I laugh at that. Because when you truly love someone, it is natural. You have no desire for that and I never seem to attract that type of man. (ANOTHER BLOG TOPIC FOR ANOTHER DAY) That messed with my self esteem too. Not that I’m not a cutie or that I don’t know it, but there have been many times in my life where again, I wasn’t cultivating that, and when dealing with certain situations, it took away from something I really didn’t have to begin with. That left me to grow from a place of loss and I’m honestly still a work in progress.
When we don’t invest in ourselves it creates some different situations for us. We don’t always make the best choices for ourselves and we definitely accept more than what we should. Even today with who I am, all I’ve done, what people say about me, I still don’t necessarily see it from their perspective and often times sell myself short…………which is absolutely absurd. I struggle with self appreciation and value which has caused me to take a lot of unnecessary things from unnecessary people and subject myself to unnecessary situations. But life has a way of forcing you to look into yourself and begin to respect yourself on a higher level. Seeing yourself through the same lenses that God sees you. You only live when you begin to do that. You can only truly live life in a state of happiness and self awareness when you truly accept your imperfections no matter what those are. I don’t say that to say that you don’t need to change things or continue growing, but you don’t have to hold yourself captive to your flaws because everyone has them. Everyone lives with something about themselves that they would change. But God makes us just the way we are and it’s freeing to appreciate his design.
I think life has a funny way of teaching us things and I say that all the time. We may often feel at times like certain things won’t ever happen to us and that is just simply not true. Even as a good person with everything going for you, some people just may not be able to appreciate it. That’s where you come in. You’ve got to learn to appreciate yourself. Self worth. Self love. Self respect. We hear people talking about these things all the time and we consistently agree we need to have them. Post on our social media all about them. Shout to the world that we have it. And many people are consistently repeating it because they really hope to believe it. My best advice is to keep doing that until you do. Adopt the principle of loving yourself………………and allowing people to only bring into your space what you deserve. You deserve nothing but the best and no matter what others have, what you have is cherish able because there is only one you.
Until Next Time Lovies!!!