Sitting In The Seat Of Judgment

There is a fine line between being judgmental and having an opinion.  It’s safe to say that we all have one and there is nothing wrong with that.  Of course we all have some insight into situations that we see going on around us and most of that insight comes from the lives we have lived and lessons we have learned.  Even though we’ve learned many of those lessons through some painful trials and errors, some of us still are not careful enough to stop those opinions from sliding into the danger zone of persecution.  I have been going through some trials of my own lately because I’m incapable of letting go of some things that I should which makes me quite hard headed.  People have had all types of opinions I’m sure…………….probably burning me at the stake behind my back.  It lead me to ask myself why people are so quick to judge uncertain of the situation or circumstances?

We live in a very judgmental world.  Guilty even after innocence is proven and unable to live it down no matter what facts are presented.  Everyone always has something to say about the next person.  How they look.  What they do.  How they speak.  Where they live.  Who they are dating.  So on and so on.  It’s almost as if we start this “evaluation” of people at young ages because I don’t think I remember a time that I didn’t have an opinion of something that wasn’t necessarily my business.  I remember being a little girl and being the one that was picked on because I didn’t live in a fancy house or have the nicest things like the other kids did.  Back then my feelings were hurt because I didn’t understand why people were so mean.  It wasn’t like I could control the state in which I lived or the things that I was given.  At that age I wasn’t as retrospective but looking back, we aren’t rationalizing that it isn’t our fault and we aren’t remembering not to internalize the negative things people say about us.  All of us are not strong enough to deal with the slander and learn to keep our heads up high through it all.  It breaks some people down which is why it’s so important to drop the idea that we have a right to tell others how to live or decide that how they live is not correct.  By whose standards?

Why does it take so long to realize that we have no place to judge anyone and any aspect of their lives just because we don’t relate or understand their position? 

I have been the person to look down at someone else for a choice they made that I didn’t agree with but as I grow as a person and live a little more, I learn no matter how many times I say “please, that would never be me”, I have no real clue if it will be me or not.  When we are emotionally disconnected from a situation it can be said that we do see things more objectively and when “evaluating” others, we are coming from that unemotional place.  There is more logic and reason we tend to apply to life and the things we are experiencing from this position.  But even with that said, there is no reason to stand outside of another person’s situation and put your nose in the air.  You have no idea how they feel, what they go through, the sleep they lose, the prayers they have prayed, what they have given up or sacrificed in the place they stand.  You have not walked one moment in their shoes so you should offer a kind word and suggestion if asked…………………….but stop with the judgment. It is unwarranted to say the least.

You honestly never know how you will handle something until you go through it even if it seems realistic to you at the time to make a judgment call from the outside of someone else’s situation.  Without a doubt it takes maturity and time for you to gain that insight.  That’s when you become respectful enough to stop judging people and become a bit more understanding about the happenings of life.  It is likely a fair assumption that the individuals going through the situation are being hard enough on themselves about their choices and are working through their own emotional turmoil.  It’s important to provide support and encouragement even when speaking the truth to them.  Delivering your opinion may not always lift them completely up but it should never tear them down.  Everyone needs people who are willing to provide truth and shed light on things that they may not see.  HOWEVER, never be fooled that most of the time, they know that truth for themselves and are working through it.  That means that being a judgmental individual will not benefit the situation in the least, nor will it help them out of the position that they are in. 

Until we want to do different things we won’t.  Until we want to have different experiences, we won’t.  Until we want to be rid of whatever is burdening us or stunting the growth we deserve to have, we won’t.  We will continue to walk the paths we walk until we are ready for something new.  In that walk we are being processed, we are growing, we are developing, we are evaluating, we are praying and crying and working through the best way we know how.  And when we are fully ready to commit to a different way, we will do that.  And no matter the amount of ridicule and persecution we face from the outside, we will only make the changes when we say so.  So for those looking in with stares of disdain…………..you should mind your business and pray for those who appear to be out of sorts with your train of thought.  Your judgment won’t make them a better person or change the way they deal with life.

Until Next Time Lovies!

Miss B

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