Sometimes it can take a minute to decide if you are going to share a blog or not just based on the content. You want to keep some things close but you also want to have a way of sharing the experience and lessons through your version of truth. I am a firm believer that being a Blogger or Writer of any sort exposes you to some level of vulnerability because your writings become more real when you can speak from a real place. For the most part I’m cool with that because though I don’t necessarily filter my topics, I do sort of filter the story that comes forth. The place I have existed in won’t be revealed here, but I’m hoping that you get some insight in to how to deal big decisions when you are feeling tormented by the way I share my process.
I’ve had a bit of writers block lately because I haven’t been feeling very creative. Every bit of brain space has been taken up by everything else that has been going on, stunting my growth and ability to share. You don’t always want to write about the heavier things that are happening in life. Sometimes you want to give people something from your happy place. But I have also realized that a lot of times the best of you is delivered to people through the most painful moments of your life…………..and that is perfectly okay. I will accept that!
For the last few weeks of my life I’ve been tossing around a decision that I had no idea I’d be forced to make at this particular point! Trust me! A big decision that affects every single aspect of my life as I know it from this day forward. It has made me quite emotional and has also made me do some evaluation that I was not real happy I had to do if I can be quite honest. Heavy stuff! Anyway, decisions are sometimes easy and sometimes they are really hard but when they are hard they take EVERYTHING out of you. If you are like me you overthink already so moments like this aren’t conducive to brains like that! Before you can process any thought you are full of other thoughts that interfere with your clarity. It’s a never-ending cycle that you will fall into if you aren’t careful.
We can be so very hard on ourselves in these moments because we are never really sure what direction we are going in. Even when we are praying for direction and guidance, it’s often times hard to hear exactly what is being said. I truly believe that sometimes we are so torn that even when the answer comes through we dispute it. We question our faith in our own ability to follow through with the answer that we’ve been given because in those moments in our lives we forget just what we are capable of handling. Those second guess situations just make things much more difficult for us to move forward in the truth we already know.
I have found myself trying to listen a little more for the answers I'm requesting and listen a whole lot less to my anxiety, reservations, fears and emotions. I always say that leading with these things is to your detriment so you can't allow them to be filtered into the direction that you take. I know it's easier said than done but the truth is, you are never making the best decision for you and your situation when they aren't free of these things. There has to be a line you draw in the sand for the sake gaining the clarity necessary to make the best choice. It takes practice, time and patience but when you get to this place it becomes easier to activate the process.
I will say that this time period has awakened me just a bit more to myself. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tormenting myself or in some sort of torment with the options I was given………but I will say that I see when I sabotage myself and cause myself to stay in a state of confusion much longer than I probably needed to be there. Awareness is always the best way for us to gain perspective on the changes we need to make. Maturity gives us the personal fortitude to make those changes. As I am still a work in progress, I appreciate these moments because they make me better. They frustrate me to no end BUT I’m better for it.
Because of my experience I believe people should really receive the answers that come back from their moments of prayer and introspection. Those answers are real and they really are supposed to be applied to your situation. We always have some sort of reluctance when making big decisions of any sort but there is a certain sense of calm you feel that comes over you when the right decision is implemented. That peace that comes over you once decided is a huge indicator that you did the right thing. So stop second guessing yourself and believe in your ability to truly ask for guidance, receive it and act on it. You’ve got it in you!
Until Next Time Lovies!