Reading An Open Letter

Opening up your life and your heart to another person is easier for some than it is for others, but we all have been there a time or two.  That’s because whether we admit it or not, everyone wants that “love you to the moon and back” type of feeling for another human being.  Any time we refuse that to be so, it’s because we’ve been hurt before and we don’t want to be hurt again.  Our guard is up and we are like not just no or absolutely no……………………but HELL NAW!!!!  Not going down that road again for anyone or anything.  Jesus himself would have to place the call and say, “It’s okay.  You can jump.  You won’t hurt yourself”.  That’s not a joke either.  I’m very serious.

I’ve had a few relationships in my day.  A few.  Every single time I recognized that I wasn’t’ dealing with the right person and I still let it go on anyway.  The hurt I experienced was more-so because I allowed it and not because I didn’t see it.  We tend to turn a blind eye because we want something so badly even when we shouldn’t have it.  I think we are smart enough to know…………..we just play dumb.  Keep overlooking the obvious.  Keep deciding that it’s not that big of a deal.  But in all honesty we are doing ourselves and the other person a great disservice by not walking away.  You become resentful when someone keeps doing things to hurt you.  You dislike yourself for allowing it.  That’s why you should always look yourself in the mirror and remind yourself of your worth.  ALWAYS

Michael Jai White wrote a letter to his Exes because he basically wanted to say, I was a jerk.  Sorry.  I wasn’t ready for you.  But now that I’m mature, I treat my new woman waaaaaaaaaaaaaay better.  So hahaha, in your face!  Am I wrong for looking at it like that?  I mean, what else is he saying?  Men get to a place where they are fully ready to sacrifice and love awoman the way she deserves to be and yearns to be loved even though he knew she was already doing that for him.  He’s able to make the sacrifices for her even when he thinks it’s stupid and unnecessary because he now sees the value in making those sacrifices for her even though she already was.  He just didn’t see it when he was with the sixteen women before her that she was giving everything and he didn’t care to.  This is my thing about his open letter……………….your apology to them due to your realization is not even necessary.  It doesn’t benefit anyone to see you love another woman in a way you “decided” not to love the others.  We make conscious efforts to treat people the way we treat them and if that is poorly, YES, Shame On You!  It’s always great to see people grow, mature and change as they begin to embrace responsibility for their actions and decide they are willing to open their heart as much as the other person.  I’m all about it.  But if you know you haven’t come to a place where you can do what the person you are with needs………………leave them and move on.  Period.  Don’t stay with them for years knowing you lack.  Your lack is to their detriment and yours. 

We’ve got to learn in these relationships what it means to be in a relationship and what it takes.  Relationships are hard!!!  They take work!  You don’t always see rainbows or hear birds chirping!  You might have a month of thunderstorms, two days of sunshine and a week of a tornado.  That’s LIFE!  Life isn’t easy.  People don’t stay together for 50 years and like each other every day.  I just met a couple while out celebrating my best friend getting married.  They had been married, maybe sixty years.  She walked right up to us and said a few days she had to run up on him with a butcher knife!  NOT A BUTTER KNIFE!!  OKAY!  But the love they have for one another is real……………they scarified for it because it meant that much to them! 

In relationships you have to COMMUNICATE.  I hear people say things like it doesn’t take all that, we don’t need to talk about all that, it doesn’t require all that.  But guess what………………..when you love your significant other, you will talk it out because you don’t want to lose that person.  You want to make sure you two fully understand one another.  You want to make sure that no interpretation is misconstrued but that how they feel is based on the true facts of what you think and feel.  You will maintain your honesty and commitment.  You will be transparent for the sake of the trust you want to maintain.  You won’t act as if what they need is so extra that it’s stupid and you have no plans of giving it.  You will be ALONE.  When you know you can’t keep Communication, Transparency, Trust and Respect at the forefront of what you are building with this person, you should know that it is never going to be a lifelong relationship and you will really have to consider that it’s not the right person for you. 

Don’t downgrade what’s important to you to be in a relationship with someone.  Stand by what you feel is best for you.  Maybe that means that the one you want isn’t the one for you.  Know that that’s okay.  It’s okay to love someone who isn’t capable of loving you back because it may be something you just can’t help, but don’t stay with them.  Don’t put yourself in a situation that will have you taking years to heal and putting you in a situation where you are reading his open letter as he is about to marry someone he decided to grow up for.

Until Next Time Lovies!

Miss B


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