Marriage: Putting The Cart Before The Horse

Marriage - Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a socially or ritually recognized union or legal contract between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between them, between them and their children, and between them and their in-laws.

I periodically catch that show Married at First Sight that comes on FYI.  This is where relationship experts matched three groups of singles to be married based on defined criteria.  Once I saw the previews for the show, it blew my mind to think that there were singles out there that anyone could get together and persuade them to marry a person they have never met.  Not only that, but then allow themselves to be followed for one year to determine how things went from the shotgun wedding.  It’s cool to do experiments and see how different things affect human interactions and relationships, but it is baffling to me that real people would take marriage so lightly and stand in front of God to make that type of commitment uncertain of the outcome.  How seriously could someone who does this actually take marriage?

Normally I look up things to support my feelings and when I do, I like to share them with you!  I went to the Census Bureau site just to see a few statistics on marriage and divorce, etc.  People definitely aren’t getting married like they used to but the drop is not an alarmingly shocking drop.  What I hope is that it is a real indication that people are actually thinking about it and taking their time with it before they do it.  Even getting married a little later in life to guarantee they’ve thought it through and want it to work.  I know this isn’t always the case and there will always be people who marry for reasons outside of what we grow up believing they should but as time goes on, hopefully it is always showing that people think more about it before doing it.  Here are some statistics based on gender:

The only thing I will say that looks pretty troubling is that more and more people decide to never get married and some studies show it’s because they decide to just live with their significant other instead of tying the knot. I guess I just feel that if you can make a commitment of a house, kids and life together for such a long period of time, why can’t you put a ring on it/give a ring to her? Just my thoughts on it. Very good question to ponder out there ladies and gentlemen.

Now you can blast me for a couple of reasons. People can stand in front of God and make this commitment with someone they “think” they know and end up divorced. I could be the Too Serious girl in the room when I say this but I just want to get married once and I just don’t think marriage should be played with. Perception is everything and what we put out, gullible people who have no lived life yet can be shaped by the choices we make. The generations after us get the misconception that it’s easy to get into and easy to get out of so when things don’t go well, they don’t fight for it. They don’t stand by it and know that this is the person that they don’t want to live without even if they can. That they made a true commitment that should be honored. Don’t get me wrong, there may be times where divorce is the only answer due to whatever may be going on in the relationship. God certainly doesn’t want you to suffer in any way. However, fight if it’s worth fighting for. If they are worth fighting for you know it so keep pushing!

Things are much different than they used to be when I was growing up or even when my parents and grandparents were. From generation to generation, the reason for getting married has changed a bit and the visions that people have become a bit skewed due to life and life’s circumstances. According to the Pew Research Center, people claim to get married for the following reasons:

It makes me wonder why anything other than finding your soulmate, being madly in love and feeling as they this is your best friend that you are made for would be reasons to make a commitment such as this. Money can come and go, the feeling of stability can come and go, but loving a person for truly who they are and understanding what they bring to your life are things that never go away. Those are fundamental things that make people last through all the hard times that will come in a union. You don’t have time to form that bond if you never get a chance to see the person before you say I do.

TV ratings and reality have been driving our market for quite a while now. Sadly we feed in to it by tuning in and buying in to the concepts that they want us to have. One thing I can’t do is support the idea that this is the best way to show kids the sanctity of marriage and how important it is to make this decision with clarity and consultation from God. You will never know everything there is to know about a person by dating them. We all know that to be true. But you have to have time for it to be revealed to you so that you are sure the core of the person you fall in love with will sustain you through life as you continue to grow and live together in a world full of everything designed to pull you apart. Sorry FYI……….no support here!

WHERE I FOUND MY INFO:

http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2014/02/14/5-facts-about-love-and-marriage/
http://www.census.gov/hhes/families/data/marital.html
http://www.fyi.tv/shows/married-at-first-sight


Until Next Time Lovies!
Miss B

 

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