Relationships: What It Takes

Being Undervalued, Under Estimated and Marginalized is something that as individuals, many of us experience. I would even suggest that it’s mostly us women! Lol I’m sorry fellas but this is just not about you right now! We do everything, we give everything, we provide everything, we sacrifice everything and there are just some people in life who overlook those things and take you for granted even in the midst of all you do. I think it’s a true sign of maturity and a true sign that they aren’t willing to make the necessary sacrifices on their side.

Let’s take relationships for example. What does it mean to be in a relationship? A true Give and Take Relationship??!?! Who is supposed to give more? Is there supposed to be someone who gives more or does it alternate based on circumstances? I’ll answer that one for myself and I’ll say it depends on the moment you are in your lives. Sometimes one person needs more than the other and vice versa. But even with that, it’s spoken about and communicated right? You don’t just assume your significant other has a direct line into your mind to make what you need accessible right? I didn’t think so, so if your answer was yes you should be slapped right across your left cheek so hard your head bounces! IJS!

What I have always been baffled about are the things that are deal breakers when being involved with someone on a very serious level. What do you consider things you can’t live with or without? And can you make that call when you yourself aren’t giving everything you need to give? I’d also say NOT to that. At the end of the day, when you are involved seriously, you have to fight harder. When you are living life you have to deal with the pains and strains placed upon your relationship. You don’t walk away because things that really seem to be very trivial in the grand scheme of life seem overwhelming in that particular moment. It’s a cop out and it makes you appear to be very weak when dealing with life’s issues.

You have to man or woman up to what you signed up for. There is no perfect person in this life. You can’t just choose to x out the things about your spouse that you don’t like. What you can do is rise to the occasion. What you can do is decide what you can do to supplement where they may be weak and vice versa. The reason why people make the wrong choices are because they aren’t made up of what it takes to deal with real life because marriages don’t survive for forty years because they spend every day in love and cherishing what the other is bringing to the table. They survive because the love and foundation are true and because they know they don’t want to live any day apart. So they fight through the things they hate in order to get to the side of one another that they adore. That’s definitely why marriage isn’t what it used to be. People walk out the moment they can’t deal with something they hate. Makes them miss out on everything else.

What I want everyone to realize is that we all have things that are problems. Quirks that can be issues for someone who has to look at your face daily and deal with your deficiencies. And that’s okay on every level because every model created is built with something that malfunctions at some point in time. Whatever you deem perfection is not real. There is nothing realistic about believing you will find someone who has every single thing you want and that will never create a problem for you in life. What you have to ask yourself is what that person is worth to you? Are they worth enough to push through things you hate and change things about yourself to make them work? Do you see yourself without them and can you deal with life presenting them as absent? If you know that that is not an option for you, I make one suggestion for you: LOOK INWARD and modify the things you know hinder the growth you two have.

Make sure that you give your best and always have your best foot forward. Don’t point fingers at one another and only see the error in your partner. Know what you have done and be open to all options in making that relationship work. If you have tried and tried and tried again………….any method you need to and it doesn’t work, then you know you did all you could to have your love survive. I’m not saying not to bow out if it isn’t for you. Just don’t walk away when the love is real because you hit a stumbling block. You will regret it!

Until Next Time Lovies!
Miss B

 

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