Relationships: What You Build On

My walk is not strong. Not nearly as strong as it should be. Not coming from my background, being blessed like I have and going through all I've been through. Still being blessed in the end. So I cannot be a hypocrite here. I have a man who is not as saved as I think he should be or at a point in his life where he continues to grow in his faith the way he should. I can never reprimand him because I'm not as together in my walk as I should be either. However, I realize the importance of having a strong foundation in God and an understanding that your relationship doesn't work out if you don't have that solid platform. I'm like most of you, never pushed it because I figured, I was getting me together and he'd get there on his own. Not the right mindset to have.

 Now, I’ve allowed myself to fall for this man and progress through life with him………..on a semi-shaky ground due to our lack of growing in our faith individually and collectively. Only you know the kind of relationship you have with your significant other. You know him. You know yourself. When you were single you knew that you wanted a man of God and that there was no exception to in any way shape or form. But once you entered in, that's not always the top thing you are thinking about while you are falling in love. Especially if he hits the mark on everything else that you have on your list.  As long as he is saved you are fine with that.  It doesn’t become unimportant, just less important.  Now that you near the possibility of marriage, your desire for him to get on one accord with your idea increases.  His pace in which he progresses to that point becomes more urgent.  You know you won’t bend on this need.  You hope spiritually he is “equally yoked” to you after you’ve committed yourself, built a life, fallen in love and began to think about your future. These issues that are now arising are on you because you allowed other feelings inside of you to stop you from building on this key principle for you. A learning lesson for us all that have done this and go through it. Mines doesn't even go to church with me when I do go. Has his own relationship with God and doesn't need all that..............and I have accepted that.

 I think it's right to feel the way you may feel about this that causes discomfort in your life. I don't think anything is wrong with wanting a stable foundation built on everything you love and know to be true to you. But you can’t hold him accountable and give him any type of ultimatums about his personal walk and growth in that walk with Christ. Everyone including you has to get their walk right on their own time and in their own way without feeling the pressure to do it for someone else and the gratification they may feel from it. That's not fair at all because you are putting their back against the wall to get their walk right for you. Whether you want to look at it that way or not that’s the truth. People have to grow on their own. If this is your best friend who you love and want to marry, you have to know that you have to make tough decisions for the sake of that relationship. That may mean you can’t be with that person while they get themselves together.  There is no timeline for growth and maturity.  People take their time and God takes his time.  It’s as simple as that.  If you make a decision to stay in something with someone uncertain of the outcome, what happens to you emotionally over that time period?  What is happening to you and your walk during this time?  I'm not saying it won't be difficult because you have already been in it, but there is not just a spiritual side to you. God constructed us with several different parts that work together. They all need to be healthy and intact. You will not be in tact if in the timeline you provide, they are not where you think they should be.

 To anyone else’s situation I'm just an outsider looking in and I want everyone to be happy just as I want to be happy. I'm in the place many people are. Wanting God to be the center of everything and knowing that I've already built on some ground that isn't 100% stable. I know that doesn't mean that God isn’t in it or can’t be in it even more, but poor choices in the beginning have created a whole lot of unnecessary avoidable problems. So I say that to say I understand. Just be smart about it. I don't want you to break up with your significant other but you can't live in a relationship where you don’t feel things are lining up to meet your expectations.  Voice your concerns to your partner and go from there.  You could be the person God brought into the other person’s life to show them the way.  To help them grow in their walk.  That’s how God uses people.  To bless other people.

Until Next Time Lovies!


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