Okay…………..so I’m watching Insecure the other day, catching up, and I’m watching Lawrence sleep with two chicks he picks up at the grocery store. Now I know everyone noticed how forward they were and how much he was NOT checking for them………….but they were definitely checking for him. So, in a state of being the most gullible man he possibly could be, he gets home with them, drinks, they do drugs, they sleep together and then he’s lying there feeling taken advantage of by two fast chicks who make a habit of sleeping with random Black guys (I’m just assuming based on that sidebar conversation they had). It made me wonder “What Tha Hell!?” as I tried to figure out WHY the world is so oversexed with very little regard in their implementation tactics!
There is a wave of phenomena around men wearing rompers these days. I have my own opinion about it but my inquisition into the matter was heightened when I started talking to my best friend about it. She always tends to bring out questions I don't think of asking or didn't know I had until she said it. We joked about the romper for a few days but then she called and asked me this....."Do we emasculate men so much to the point that they feel they NEED to come after what we have?" Hmmmmmmm I know a bunch of people will be offended by that but think about it.
I would love to have my best friend (whom is the queen of questions) to poll a bunch of men and ask them the following questions:
- Why do you reach out to your exes?
- Why are they exes if you keep reaching out?
- Why are you reaching out to them when you are involved seriously or married?
- What is your expectation when you reach out?
Listen, I’m not going to rant and rave on this post but I am going to state my opinion whether people like it or not. Twice today I heard about this story and it compelled me to speak out about how I feel regarding it. We live in a world where we say the wrong thing to offend a group of people and we are ostracized and humiliated because it doesn’t line up with the way that group of people thinks. It’s completely wrong and I don’t think that anyone has a right to make someone else feel bad for differing in their opinion. We are human. It’s what we do. Everyone has their own personal opinion and that is just fine!
What constitutes An Angry Black Woman? Is it her attitude? Her independence? Standing up for herself? Speaking out for herself? I’d like to have a few people answer that question for me. And not just Black people but everyone that has a perception of or interaction with one of these types of women. I have a problem with the term so I’m looking for clear ways to distinguish what makes a woman who is Black, angry. Just tell me a little bit about how you think she got there and what in her walk or air gives you the idea that it’s anger. Where do you think it came from and after all of those explanations and evaluations are given…………………..tell me why you don’t think she has a right to this so called Anger you feel she permeates.
was listening to one of my favorite Podcasts today……………..The Friend Zone. I always love the things they discuss because they really are speaking intelligently and with their truth. I love honesty because it’s always apparent and it creates a deeper connection to those conversations they are having. Today’s episode was centered around the controversy of Nate Parker and how it has been affecting his new movie Birth Of A Nation. As they spoke and brought up some of the things that they were feeling, it started to really get under my skin because I honestly have mixed emotions about how people perceive others when they are “evaluating” situations.
Have you ever just had something on your mind that was weighing heavily on you? However, despite its heaviness, did you come to the realization that the best thing for you to do was remain silent? Silent because you knew if the words you wanted to say passed by your lips they would cause some serious damage to those they were intended for? As you grow as a person and try to be a better version of yourself, you begin learning to fine tune and develop this type of self-control. You notice the changes because the older version of yourself would probably act on impulse and say things despite their impact.
I have a confession: I have allowed something completely insignificant to my life to affect the way I have handled some things. I was caught up in my feelings about the situation and couldn't figure out how to resolve it within myself. What I don't like are unanswered questions, unfixed problems, situations that don't seem to have a decent resolution that I feel is sufficient. It has plagued me for a minute now and I have struggled with letting it go because there was never TRULY real truth in any of it. Just a bunch of this and that. I'm not built for things like that so I'm always tested with situations that cause me to be resolute for myself. The struggle.
For almost 13 years I’ve had the privilege of being a parent. But I must admit that though it’s the biggest blessing I’ve ever had in life, it is probably the most challenging role I’ve ever played……….MOM. Every success of your child is a success that you truly bask in and every failure is one that you take on to yourself as if it is your own. I can’t count the times I’ve cried when my child hits a milestone because it touches me so much to watch him growing, learning and becoming everything I know that he will be. But I have cried equally as much when I’ve had struggles with him because I’ve owned the disappointment of those things. I see a lot of parents doing it and I give them so many words of wisdom as I understand their feelings but the truth is, as a parent, your hopes and dreams rest in the development and progress of your children. It’s hard not to allow the things that go wrong in parenting to make you feel like a failure.
I’ve written several blogs about self-image, love, worth, respect, appreciation, value and other things that I have often felt we are disconnected from because of the world that we live in. I always say that this happens specifically because the media takes away from the way someone is born by enhancing it on levels far beyond what’s possible with just a little lip gloss and squats in the gym. As the younger girls grow up they are seeing the world through Photoshopped lenses and for young Black Girls it’s even worse. They are seeing what they are born with, what’s a part of their history, what is embedded into their culture…………taken, manipulated and sold as though it belongs to someone else. Heart-breaking to say the very least.
Lately I’ve been all about podcasts. Probably because I’ve listened to every episode of The Breakfast Club that I was interested in and needed a new form of entertainment while I’m working. I love the inspiration it provides! Anyway, I guess I’m behind the curve because podcasts are pretty popular these days. Everyone is doing it! I like the opportunity to hear topics of all kinds by people with different perspectives. It keeps you thinking, your brain working, and you open to different ideas about life outside of your own. That’s a beautiful thing.
I believe in role models. Especially because we live in a world where so many children are looking up to people outside of their homes. Talking to a friend today and being a parent myself, I realize that kids can have the best of everything but they still may look to immolate something else they see. I don’t think it’s a terrible thing because I know I may not always be doing everything right or making the best choices when my child is looking. If he is looking at other positive examples, I’m perfectly fine with that. Nevertheless I do my best because I know he’s watching and I know who I am as a human being will impact his life in some way shape or form.
Okay so wait……………..I was listening to The Read on soundcloud (https://soundcloud.com/theread/another-thursday) yesterday (which I love by the way because Kid Fury and Crissle are hilarious) and they were talking about Amber Rose. Now I don’t pay attention to people like her and Kim K because if nothing else, they want that. People in her “field” are still posing naked with two kids and a husband for God’s sake (KIM K!)! They want to be overly sexed and have everyone look at them because of it. I’m sorry. I’m unable to do so. Anyway, I decided to wander over to TheRoot.com to see what the news was and they too had a journalist write about it. I couldn’t hold my tongue after that because I’m completely confused at the point this young lady is trying to make.
I have heard some people say when we converse about life and goals that they are hesitant or have reservations about starting goal implementation. That’s one thing I’ve never had issues with because I’m like hey, I want to do it, so I’m gonna do it. Yeah of course along the away you experience some anxiety or some discouragement because things may or may not be completely working out in your favor, but there is no real reason not to start at all or come up with reasons why it’s not the right time.
What is self-image? What is self-respect? What is self-worth? Have you done a self-evaluation of yourself just to see what they mean and how you see yourself in terms of those things? I think it’s key as women to understand just where we are with ourselves because it allows us to determine how we deal with life, how we will carry ourselves, what we will allow in our space, how we will treat others and how we allow ourselves to be treated. Sometimes I think we miss out on just how important it is to cultivate these things within ourselves so that we are living stronger, longer, healthier and more meaningful lives.
They say that you get what you put out into the universe with your parents when you yourself become a parent. I was definitely a little smart mouthed child who didn’t necessarily feel that adults could teach me much of anything. Kind of like the kids today. Knowing everything and completely being okay with that despite how many times you see that you don’t. Needless to say, that little person of mines………knows more than anyone around him and the rest of us are just removed from his genius (real hard side eye)
My best friend pleaded with me to watch this show on FYI called Black Love. The title alone had me uninterested because this day in age, everyone knows everything about love and relationships. They want you to follow their advice and I am not down with that. I just feel like though there are some really standard ways that can be applied to Life, Love and Dating, it’s not a one size fits all and what works for one may not necessarily work for someone else.
I want to start the New Year off by speaking on something that has really touched my heart over the last week or so and affected my family in a big way. It pertains to self-image and how we see ourselves through our eyes. We have the most critical eye when we see ourselves and no matter what others say about us, what we see is what we hold on to the hardest. We are our biggest critics and no matter how perfect of an image we feel someone may have, there will always be something they may feel needs to be changed about themselves.