Okay…………..so I’m watching Insecure the other day, catching up, and I’m watching Lawrence sleep with two chicks he picks up at the grocery store. Now I know everyone noticed how forward they were and how much he was NOT checking for them………….but they were definitely checking for him. So, in a state of being the most gullible man he possibly could be, he gets home with them, they sleep together and then he’s lying there feeling taken advantage of by two fast chicks who make a habit of sleeping with random Black guys (I’m just assuming based on that sidebar conversation they had). It made me wonder “What Tha Hell!?” as I tried to figure out WHY the world is so oversexed with very little regard in their implementation tactics!
Sex is so easily had these days and the world works really hard to make it seem so trivial. Like it’s natural and therefore it should be spread around and done with whomever, wherever, whenever and with or without condoms. I struggle with the notion of it. Every tv show, every song, every magazine article, every book, every publication, every Instagram post……………..everything is always dripping sex in some form or fashion and to be honest, I sit and wonder how to raise my two kids in a world that is so “free”. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t understand why people enjoy it or feel the need to have it, but why make it so “meh” if in fact, it should be something that is not shared with the person in your building, your co-worker, the person you talk to at the gym AND your significant other who doesn’t know about those other three people? What makes the world feel that the imposition of this kumbaya mentality makes this thought process acceptable?
One thing I do see that has grown this movement so much is that women feel the only way to level the playing field with men and all their shenanigans is to take on the same set of rules that men have lived by since the beginning of time. Hoe like your life depends on it. But that’s where I’m fuzzy because you increasing your body count doesn’t hurt them. It just makes you a hoe with a high body count. Then you want to say, well what makes me a hoe? Why am I a hoe because I choose who to share my vagina with? The answer is simple………………….because you are. Listen, people can be mad at me for having this thought and that’s fine. I don’t care. It’s my thought ………….the way to level the playing field is to be true to you and stop dealing with the things you don’t want to deal with. Don’t accept someone that is sleeping around. Don’t forgive them just because they said they were sorry and they won’t do it again. Cut them off because leopards don’t change their spots and it will happen again. Why do they do what they have done for centuries…………BECAUSE WE HAVE ALLOWED IT! Plain and Simple. That’s the only true way to turn the tide on them!
In random conversations with my male and female friends, we laugh at the way the alternative lifestyle seems to be benefiting those who chose to live it. It appears that regardless to how much they expose, who they sleep with and what little they bring to the table besides their bodies, they are getting ahead! They are doing what they want on their own terms and for some reason this has now become what is attractive to the world of men who at one time didn’t want a woman who displayed what he felt was only for him. New age mentality: If she displays it that’s cool, if she's sleeping with a few of the dudes around here cool...........but once I wife her she needs to stop all that. It throws the balance off because being a good woman who is selective in who she lays down with is becoming an anomaly. We are almost shunned and looked down upon as if we think we are better because we're choosy! Now how foolish is that? I'd like to actually like to get to the root of the anger. Tell us why you mad son!?!?
Either way, a huge concern of mines in a world so sex crazed, What do we teach those coming up behind us? How can we teach them about how special sex is, how intimate it is, how emotional it is, how unsafe it is unprotected, how many STDs they can be exposed to........ones you can take a pill for and ones you live with forever.........if we saying in the same breath to be free with it? You really can not have both. AND How do we tell them that they don’t have to be naked and promiscuous to get what it is that they want in a world that perpetuates the opposite of that fact? (A WHOLE OTHER BLOG)
Whenever I have written about this type of thing, I always say the same thing……….DO YOU! I don’t push my ideas off on to anyone else and honestly, I don’t look down on those who choose to live their lives this way. But I can’t help but feel that women like me…………more conservative with a tighter set of personal values…………..we are dying off at an alarming rate. Just because the world is normalizing the behavior of those who are a bit looser in giving up the cookie. Again, give it away to the highest bidder if that is what you chose. But it isn’t lady like to relax your standards because you want to get back at a whole population of people who aren’t responsible for whatever you experienced prior to the moment you decided to sleep around........because you feel since they do it you can do it, because you don’t want to feel the vulnerability you may feel when sharing yourself only with one person……..or simply because you want to take a on the ideology of a world who doesn’t care what you are susceptible to.
I just hope that like everything else this is cyclical and fades into the black. I’d love for women to stop using their bodies as if they don’t understand how valuable they are. As if they lack the understanding of how special sharing themselves with someone truly is. There is a loss in that understanding in this over sexualized world and I don’t think it’s fair to the girls behind us to teach them that it’s okay to be this way. That they can skip the significance of innocence and jump right in to the stress that sex imposes upon our lives and our emotions. Wishful thinking…..
Until Next Time Lovies!