Parenting: Being Held Accountable

Today I was coming in listening to Mr. Madison as I normally do on my drives and he of course was talking about certain issues of the day.  He talked about the story of the young boys who robbed the Tech store in Fayetteville NC.  I’m watching this video as four young black men go in and start stealing cell phones, computers and whatever else they were taking. They were doing all of this while be filmed from every angle by several different surveillance cameras.  So the parents come back from church and decide to watch the news.  They recorded it.  How convenient that this particular night they see their children robbing a store.  They get up the next day and go to turn those two children in who were 14 and 16 years old.

The question he asked parents was would they have done the same thing if it was their child(ren).  I sat there for a moment with my mouth opened because I can’t even imagine being faced with that choice.  I’m wondering at this moment how in the world you turn your children in and then in the next breath I say how can you not?  You raise your children a certain way and you pray that the direction they move in is what you want for them.  The reality is, you don’t know what your children will do or what they will succumb to when they are out facing the world on their own without you standing beside them.  We give them what we have and they do the rest.

What I think is important is that we not blame ourselves for our children’s mistakes.  I truly believe we are cultivating our little people to be the best version of who they already are praying that that is a good person.  We weren’t perfect children growing up and I know good and well I did a few things I didn’t have any business doing.  I would have hated for my parents to blame themselves or push me to the side because of those things that I didn’t think through because I didn’t have the capacity to do so in that moment.  I don’t think that those mistakes were a reflection of those who raised us but yet a sign that we were developing and trying things, even if we knew they were wrong.  I always heard the voice though and I was always convicted.  So I pray that the same will happen for my son.  I know he will make mistakes but I hope that he hears me and the things I’ve taught him when he makes some of those mistakes.  I pray they aren’t mistakes that he can’t come back from because when that time comes, he hears me and he can walk away.

These parents did something that many parents may not have done.  They held their sons accountable for what they had done and they ensured that they were to pay for that no matter the cost.  As a parent, it’s key we teach our children that, even if it means we make them stand in front of a court of law to be punished.  If we don’t show them that we hold them accountable, they will never feel they need to take accountability for wrong doings.  That can lead to so much more than a stolen lap top.  They said that it was peer pressure that made them do it but their parents holding their feet to the fire is a sure enough lesson that no matter what your peers are doing, you alone are responsible for the actions that you take.  No amount of justification of what someone else wanted from you will stop you from paying the price for your wrong doing.  I admire them for that and every parent that continues to work hard for their kids even when their kids have done wrong.  They will hopefully be better men because of it.

Read the story here:

Until Next Time Lovies!
Miss B

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