It never ceases to amazing me the amount of people we have in this country who are completely ignorant when it comes to matters of social and racial justice.........among other things. Whether the news, talk radio, random people talking near you or people who are closely knit to you, the opinions that everyone shares are not always aligned with logic. Either way, I have my particular feelings about individuals who decide to have surgery to change their sexual orientation due to my beliefs and background as I’m sure many of us do. However, the choices that they decide to make regarding this matter are far removed from me. Living in the world that we live in today, everything is taboo, sensitive, in need of being fought for and debated beyond a reasonable degree. That too can be because rights and liberties afforded to those who fall in the category of “normal” aren’t written into legislation to make it a given privilege for those who appear outside of the category.
Don’t get me wrong when I say normal because I’m sure that people will flip out over that term. When you are born, you are either classified as a female or a male and that is what is put on your birth certificate. That’s how people see you and as you develop and mature, it dictates the categories you are placed in, expectations placed upon you and rules set up regarding what is acceptable when it comes to you. Over time and with the advancement of medicine, people are no longer confined to that space they were born into and when they feel they were born in the wrong body, they tend to do something about it.
Once this happens the rules start changing for this person. That’s why controversial decisions like what has happened in North Carolina are being fought over so profusely. Civil and Human Rights are debated because people want to attain privileges that they paid for and not that they were born with. People are convinced that a transgender (in the making) going into the opposite bathroom shouldn’t happen because if they have not fully undergone the process, they should still be in the bathroom of their current genitalia.
There are a few things in play here. For one, it probably isn’t safe for someone undergoing the change to use their birth assigned gender restroom. If a man has been taking hormones and has breasts but still has a penis, it probably isn’t wise for them to go into a male bathroom. It’s an uncomfortable environment for them not only because of how they are starting to look and feel about themselves, but it is also uncomfortable for the men in the bathroom with them (forgive the generalization because some people really don't care). On the flip side, a woman that is becoming a man may not feel completely comfortable going into a female bathroom even if they are still transitioning. It’s not about rape or molestation because let’s be real, rape and molestation happen far outside the confines of your gender. That is a mental choice stemming from mental problems that anyone can possess and until they do a study that proves to me otherwise, this is a poor argument to make regarding transgender restroom privileges. To me, it's more about comfort and exposure. Protecting EVERYONE in the situation and not just ensuring that rights are given but that rights are preserved.
I am all about civil liberties but I do not want people to forget how important it is to respect the rights and privileges of those who don’t agree with the lifestyle choices. They have a right to prefer not to be exposed. And please don't burn me at the stake because I have this opinion. A lot of people may feel it’s because they are discriminating or condemning someone, but the truth is, everyone has a right to have their beliefs and space respected. Sometimes it’s such an imposition on everyone else that it almost seems unfair because those of us who don’t agree with it are persecuted for not being fully on board. I can be honest in admitting that I don’t know what a good solution to this situation is. It could be creating a third option for them so that they can go into bathrooms separate or to just allow them to go into whatever bathroom they choose. Then again, for years we have likely been dealing with this undisturbed and unaffected so I'm not real sure why we are now in an uproar about how to deal with an issue that didn't really seem to exist until now.
North Carolina is putting this law in place to be shady and it is downright shameful and disrespectful (completely outside of actually trying to find a solution to the issue that is being debated). That is definitely a tragedy on so many levels because something does need to be done. The law seemingly is protecting establishments and others who discriminate and act upon those feelings. They can not be sued if someone is attacked based on going into these bathrooms. That is completely ridiculous if you ask me because regardless to what someone looks like or chooses to do with their bodies, we have no right to inflict physical harm to them in any way. I think the question too that should be asked is how they feel? How do you feel waking up in what you perceive is the wrong body, choosing to do something about it, and having to live in a shell because of how people respond to you? I'm sure that no one would pick that life willingly so I am definitely very mindful of it.
My feelings about all of this doesn’t mean that I feel those of us who don’t agree have a right to look down upon, judge or ridicule the choices of the transgender community by any means. Despite that revelation, as a mother, I’d prefer not to have my life inundated to a point where I have to keep explaining it to my son. Yes it is my responsibility to make him aware of the fact that it is real so that he is culturally sensitive, respectful and prepared for it, but not because I’m being forced and often times forced much sooner than comfortably acceptable. As a parent I should be able to have the talk when it’s reasonable and he truly has an understanding. We definitely need to figure out positive ways to live together in a world full of people with different ideas, perspectives and views. As times keep changing we really have no choice.
Until Next Time Lovies!